The Wizard of Us: the Boyish Tale of Youth and Adventure
In the murky and unventilated gymnasium of a certain southern high school, Derek Spider was hopelessly lost in a sea of unknown faces.
"Run around the room!" cried coach Morgue.
He wasn't a very organized man. Physical activity after physical activity was all he required of his students.
"Hurry up Derek!" chanted Higgins and Tobes, the unruly boys of sixth period P.E.
Derek just shrugged off the comment, still keeping his pace. His mind began to wander, as it often did, and he speculated the outcome of the year ahead. This class would be just as the previous year's gym periods have been, friendless. Approaching him on his left was the one person, who little did he know, would change his life forever.
"This is…. fun," said Bick in his sarcastic tone. "Weren't you at the movies Friday night? I believe that I saw you. At least I think that I did. No, wait, I definitely did. I'm Bick! Who are you?"
Derek had gone to the movies the previous Friday evening, but he didn't seem to recall this talkative, unusual gentleman. He just seemed it would be best to ignore him by running at a faster pace than him. As Derek tried this new strategy a loud vibrant wave struck him and the rest of the gym's population down to the ground. The walls and ceiling began to crack and crumble; no one wanted to get on their feet, out of fear. Suddenly, the top left corner of the gymnasium's ceiling flew away, revealing two peculiar things. The first was a mysterious older gentleman standing in a suit atop of a small cloud, while resting his cane on the base of the cloud. The second odd occurrence, behind this elderly intruder, was a tornado seeming to be surrounding the entire school. Immediately after entering the once humid but now chilly gym, the old man stretched his right arm outward towards Derek and Bick.
"Go!" the aged man shouted, and he pointed his cane to the northeastern sky.
A large flash of blinding-white light occurred and the two classmates were out of the gym and in the tornado. The two were spinning around so quickly; they had no sense of direction or location. After one minute of this twirling, the tornado came to a slow stop. Derek fell hard on a green pasture aside Bick (who was vomiting his breakfast of pop tarts and orange juice into a nearby rose bush). Derek slowly raised to his feet and took in the marvelous scenery. To the left of the green pasture was a yellow-bricked path which lead up to a small community. Approaching from this community, were approximately thirty gnome- sized individuals staring at the observant Derek and the sickly Bick. Sounds of patchy dialogue were picked up by Derek's acute ears, but the words and phrases made no sense.
"Look…pasture… I… as… tying…. shoes…. by…creek…" said a tiny, high frequency voice.
After moments of gazing, Derek, approaching out of his slumber of shyness, asked, "Where are we?"
The creatures were startled by the sound of his voice; as were the two startled by their tiny features. The crowd of undersized folk inhaled a deep breathe and burst into exuberant song and dance whose lyrics are as followed:
Welcome to our land;
We hope you enjoy the band.
This is the place where Dorothy came,
Hopefully your fate shall be the same.
We'll send you on the path we sent her to.
It's right there, to your side, right next to you!
It's yellow, and bright.
Follow to your heart's delight.
At the end of the road, is where our wizard stays.
Don't wander off his path, if you respect any word we say.
Farewell, and happy travels, great friends.
Unless, we meet again.
Derek and Bick were suddenly following the yellow-bricked pathway without any recollection of walking or exiting the village. The lyrics and tune of the song seemed to have mesmerized the classmates into bewilderment.
"O.K, well WHAT THE H-E- double hockey sticks is going on?" yelled Bick.
"I think that we're in Oz.," slurred Derek.
"Oz doesn't exist though! Well, I guess it does, I mean, apparently it must. But still, it's pretty unbelievable."
"Tell me about it. What's that up ahead?"
In the far-off distance, at the end of the road was a large, decrepid castle overlooking the land. Derek's eyes began to trace the pathway from the castle all the way back to his location, but he noticed something that the song neglected to mention.
"What do you mean a fork in the road? Those musical midgets never said anything about a fork in the road. The song wasn't about the diverting yellow- bricked road!"
"I think they prefer the term, 'little people'"
"Still, what are two travelers to do?"
Out of the corner of Bick's eye was a large shadow covering the area. Before their very eyes, was a gigantic lion, carrying a slick-metal man, and a timid straw man. The Tin man jumped off of the mammal's back before he had time to set his paw on the road. This tin man had tin accessories. On his torso, was a tin-black jacket; over his eyes were tin- tinted- shades, and in his mouth was a tobacco cigarette. After the lion's landing, the hay-man slowly depatruered. This man was shivering with fear. His tattered clothes held little hay at all. His face appeared that he had either been beaten senseless, or attacked by crows, the very creature he was destined to scare. The lion was just an enormous lion who, for some unexplained reason could fly. Unexpectedly, the scarecrow broke out into a series of abrupt coughs. It seems that the tin man was blowing his tobacco smoke directly into the scarecrow's direction.
"Ummmm, could you maybe put out your cigarette please?" started the hay-covered man.
"Ummmm, could you maybe avoid my smoke please?" teased the tin- greaser.
"But, second hand smoke does account for…"
"Alright! Here, happy now?" rebutted the tin man as he inhaled his smoke stick one last time and flicked it upon the scarecrow's head. Instantly, the man was set to flames, but he did not scream. It seems that this is a common issue, because the lion just blew out the fire instantaneously.
"Why must you always…"
"Because I can."
It seems that the trio of fictionalities has many unresolved issues to attend to.
Bick, finally sensing an opening in dialogue, startled the three by asking, "Which road at the fork ahead takes one to the wizard?"
The lion gazed at the young man and began his list of options, "The left pathway takes you straight to the wizard, but the wicked witch usually flies around that area with her large winged apes. The right pathway takes you through a series of exciting( but equally as time-consuming as the other path) events. If you'd like to, I could carry you two on my back to the path of your choosing, but I mustn't take you directly to the wizard, for I fear upsetting the natural order. So, what is your choice?"
"Without any sort of conversation with Derek, Bick said, "The left prong please."
"As you wish."
At once, the two material men each grabbed a student and climbed atop the lion's back. Into the air, they went, approaching the forked road, and the lion steered down the left prong and slowly, began to descend to the ground. Once they stopped, the duo set off after waving timidly at the three problem-solvers as they flew of into the distant sunset. These two traveled down the roadway without speaking one word to each other. Bick noticed that all he was doing lately was complaing and taking charge. He contemplated making amends with Derek and befriending him. But before he could utter a syllable, a horrific laugh was heard up ahead. The foreshadowed wicked witch (accompanied by giant apes with awkwardly tiny wings attached) was coming toward the two awfully fast. The two peers quickly turned around and ran in the opposite direction.
Apes grabbed them each and suddenly Derek unleashed, "ARGH! Why? All I wanted was an uninterrupted school day. I didn’t really mind coming here, but now I am being attacked by the effects of you, Bick! I quit! I don't want this anymore. Old man! If you can hear me, I quit! Come and get me please!"
At once, a vortex appeared which startled and loosened the ape's fierce grip. The two dropped to the ground as the herd of flying monkeys flew off. Out of the Vortex came the same old gentleman as before. The witch (who has been in the background this entire time) snickered at the sight of this aged man.
She then stated, "These two trespassers are associated with you? Well, I think I'll take one of them. You can have the winey one; he's too much of a drama queen. I think this one can be a nice ape-bather at my work camps."
"I knew I should have never unmelted that puddle in your tower. Very well, take Bick, he's all yours."
Then the man grabbed Derek and walked through the vortex, as Bick was being mounted on the back of the witch's broom. The two made very emotional eye contact before they were shortly out of the other's sight.
"If you don't mind, I got some errands I need to take care of before I bring you home." said the old man.
The two were in a tunnel of flashing colors. Behind them was a black vortex and ahead of them was another vortex, but in the middle stood a chair that Derek was placed into while the man went through an exiting vortex, the identity of which vortex he walked through is irrelevant to the story plot. As Derek sat bored, he noticed a telescreen with Bick in a tower as the feature presentation. Derek sat up in his chair as he watched Bick stare out of a window in a tower. For half an hour that was all he saw on the screen. Oh how he wished to apologize to Bick! But before he could think of that idea any further, Bick threw himself out of the window of the tower. Derek's heart instantly sank. But he was relieved when he noticed Bick rising above the window on the back of a certain flying lion. The screen changed to a different view as Derek's eyes followed Bick's escape.
At once, the old man appeared in the hallway to ask, "Shall we meet him?"
Derek agreed, and the two stepped through the vortex and appeared floating toward the lion on the small cloud. The two transportation devices/creatures landed safely on the ground in front of the castle. Bick and Derek ran to each other and apologized respectively.
After the apologies, the old man and the trio of rescuers flew off into the sky, leaving Bick and Derek wandering to the castle. They walked through the threshold of the castle doors and up the many sets of stairs, while reciting their separate journeys to each other. Then, they reached one troublesome question.
"What will we ask the wizard for?"
This question stumped the friends because they most certainly didn't want to go back to school, but they didn't want to stay in Oz forever either. Then, they knew what they wanted, just as they reached the last door. They walked through into a hall of emeralds decorating the walls. On the floor was a pathway of a red velvet rug leading up to a throne of some sort. This chair was like no other; it was made entirely of cloud. However, it was empty, but when they noticed the cloud they knew who the wizard must've been.
"The old man!"
"Yes?"
Behind them, was the wizard; he was the leader of their quest to adventure, and he was the puppet master of Oz. Bick looked into Derek's eyes, and he asked, "Should we ask?"
"Yes."
In unison, they questioned, "Can you give us a quest, so that we can continue our adventures?"
"That I can't do. Because, you see, you've had that ability…"
"All along?" said Bick
"How'd you know what I was going to say?"
"Please, we did watch the movie, The Wizard of OZ. And we know a cheesy, moral ending when we hear one."
"Anyway, if you just rely on me always, I shall appear to give you a quest whenever you are in need."
The old man opened the vortex and shoved the new friends into the hallway, where they crossed the opposite vortex, knowing that their lives would never be boring again. But, they would always include clichéd conclusions.
THE END
Firstly, sadness on friends leaving. I have a VERY good friend who is leaving for college in September, so I know the feeling. Sucks.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, YAY NANOWRIMO! You should tell us your NaNo account so we can become your writing buddies if we want. Just a thought.
Thirdly, that song is hilarious.
That is all.
~Whimsy
I like the story! It is a wonderful combination of familiar places, new characters, and cheesiness! The best kind of story, in my opinion. =)
ReplyDelete